All those cords and chargers

We just went on vacation and I was shocked at how many different cords and chargers we brought along. What a tangled mess.

With all the school supplies in the stores this week, I knew there had to be something that would tame the cords. There were lots of possibilities!

I decided to use those canvas zippered pencil pouches. These have three different sections, so I can separate out the different cords and chargers. Three pouches are enough to hold everything. The pouches can even be kept in a binder.

And, the next time we go on vacation, it will be a breeze to pack and bring along those pouches.

The lesson learned here is that there are always solutions to those small organizational issues. You just have to get creative!

Posting schedule

School is back in full swing for me and my kids. So, I will be posting just once a week on Friday mornings.

Please keep up the emails and comments for new ideas you want to talk about!

Check for improvements to how you do things

I just found out my bank has added new features since I first set-up online bill paying. These will dramatically cut my bill paying time. But, I only learned about them because I was bored and just clicking about on their site.

One new addition: It turns out they have added all of the people I do business with to their direct pay list. (Being on this list means these businesses are paid within a day of my payment request.) So, I no longer have to write any checks to pay bills each month.

The lesson learned here is that just because something is going well, it still pays to check for possible improvements!

Managing Paperwork - share your ideas or questions

The Paper Trail section of the Unstressed Mom website is up and ready for action.

This post is the place to share your successes and ideas or to post any questions about managing all your papers, bills and stuff the kids bring home.

Calendars and Schedules – share your ideas or questions

The Family Calendar section of the Unstressed Mom website is up just in time for school starting back.

This post is the place to share your successes and ideas or to post any questions about calendars and schedules.

Crazy busy day

It seems each year we have one crazy busy day of the week that everything happens on. And, I’ve heard from other moms that it happens to them, too.

This year, there is a three hour period every week that we all have to be somewhere different. It has become a joke (that really isn’t funny) that everything we look into doing happens during those three hours. It has become an exercise in advanced logistics.

The saving grace this year? My friends are pitching in to help with carpooling so my kids can go to their activities while I am in class that day.

The lesson here is to learn to ask for and accept help. You know how happy you are to lend a hand to friends, so you need to understand they feel the same about helping you.

For too many of us, it is easier to give help than to ask for it. I say we need to get over that!

Who controls your time?

Interesting thing happened here today. I have been fighting a doctor’s bill from an emergency room visit last spring. The insurance company said I owed one amount, which I paid. The billing company claimed a higher amount was owed because they did not recognize our insurance companies’ pricing.

Through this, my husband kept saying he thought we should keep fighting it because of the principle of the thing. In reality, it was just me fighting it because I deal with all the paperwork in our family. (It’s OK, he does all the cooking!) Finally, my stress level was beginning to rise over this, so he took over to “continue the fight.” Within 30 minutes, he decided it was better to just pay the disputed amount and move on with life! Apparently it was no longer worth the effort when it was his time being spent on all the phone calls.

Looking back, I realize I should have been more direct with him when explaining all the time and effort this was really taking. He would have been fine with just paying from the first IF he had known how much time this was taking.

The lesson I learned from this? I don’t let most people determine how I spend my time, so why do I let family and close friends add big projects to my to-do-list? Whenever I explain the time and effort actually required from some huge request one of two things happen. The requester either takes back the request (because they really didn’t understand the scope when they ask) or they offer to help with other things to free up extra time. So, it is my own fault if I let others overburden me. Communication – It really works!

Controlling what you can

Getting rid of stress is important in normal situations. But this is harder when things get really wonky. The unexpected happens. If you feel unstressed and on-top of all the daily details in normal situations, then it is easier to react to the unexpected. A perfect example is what my family is going through now.

Our unexpected is my husband’s job. We are facing a layoff or a possible new job overseas. If he is laid off, we hope to get another job right here. But, we could also be faced with moving and selling our home in this bad economy. And, we can all imagine the hassle of moving overseas on a moment’s notice! And, what about the kids? By the time anything is decided, they will have already been in school several months.

So, my solution is to control what I can and to prepare for everything else. I can control when we move up to a point. We decided that it would be best that I stay here with the kids for this school year. That way, we are not wondering where we will be living and going to school next month. A huge amount of stress gone right there! My kids go to school year round, which means they are out of school for 3 weeks every 9 weeks. With the holidays mixed in, we will still be spending half our time together this year. And, once things settle down, I’ll make specific plans for next year.

The irony of this is that this will only work because my children go to a year round school. And, our unexpected stress last year was being forced onto this school calendar and having to reorient how we planned everything.

The lesson I learned from this is that we never know what the future holds, so try to be in a position to react and roll with the punches. We all know that if you get stressed out in difficult times, it can rub off on your kids. After all, this could be our family’s biggest adventure ever, and I don’t want to spoil it by getting stressed out!

Take ten to talk

Being a stay at home mom while going to school on-line works pretty well most of the time. Except on the days I have assignments due. My kids will ignore me all day until I am facing a deadline. Then, everyone wants my attention!

A trick a psychologist shared is to say, “I can give you 10 minutes right now.” And, then for those 10 minutes, you focus completely on that person and what they have to say. You do not answer the phone, read emails or cook dinner while you listen. You just listen. After 10 minutes, if the conversation is not finished, then plan a specific time AFTER your deadline to finish. You show your child that you value them more than anything else, while still maintaining boundaries to meet your other obligations.

There are added benefits to this. My daughter no longer interrupts my homework every five minutes. She knows for a fact that we will have one-to-one time later that night after my deadlines. This also gives her time to get her thoughts together – not always easy for a teenager!

Multi-tasking

A friend said to me the other day that I was really good at multi-tasking. That surprised me because I am actually horrible at it! In fact, it takes me twice as long to do two things at once verses doing each thing separately. I find it is easier in the long run to finish one task before moving on to the next. That way, I can concentrate 100% on that one thing.

The business world calls this “chunking” your time. I call it common sense.